


Ascension Missing Moments - Anders and Blackwall

by TCRegan



Series: Ascension of the Wolf [9]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCRegan/pseuds/TCRegan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place just before chapter 13 of Wisdom in Hardship</p>
<p>Anders goes to have a talk with Blackwall about what it means to be a Grey Warden</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ascension Missing Moments - Anders and Blackwall

The moon hung heavy and full in the sky. The chill wind from the Frostbacks whipped up the light and powdery snow, but Anders merely turned his back against it. He didn't care about the cold. He had many years in the chilly tower on an icy lake to get used to it. A lot of people didn't like Skyhold's location, set so high up in the Frostback Mountains. But their soldiers were clearing the roads, making it more accessible every day. And their workers patched the walls, making it more livable every day. But there was one part of Skyhold that was still drafty, and he walked quickly toward the stables now. The large barn stood tall and proud next to them, the wood still intact after all these years. Anders had a conversation with Ser Morris just that morning about perhaps fortifying it with stone. For one real reason, truly, and that reason was sitting by the fire, an open book by his knee.

"Evening."

Blackwall looked up, a faint smile touching his lips. "Inquisitor."

"Oh don't do that," Anders said, returning the smile. "Just Anders."

He held up the two mugs of hot cocoa in his hands and Blackwall pulled a blanket over for him to sit. Anders sank down, handing him one, and sat cross-legged near the fire.

"You don't need to stay in the barn," Anders said by way of opening. "There are plenty of spaces inside the castle. Or the tents in the courtyard."

"Other people need those more than I do," Blackwall said, sipping his cocoa.

"I keep trying to tell them that. Yet I have the most opulent quarters."

Blackwall smiled. "There are some things a leader needs to set himself apart from the rest of the troops. People need you to be that man. Their Herald of Andraste."

Anders shifted, pulling his knees up to his chest, cupping the mug between his hands. "It's been…" He sighed, not sure how he could even start explaining it. "So did you ever meet the Warden-Commander? He's Hawke's cousin, you know." It was a piece of information that constantly made him realize that no matter how large the world was, it was still quite small.

"Never had the pleasure," Blackwall admitted. "We didn't talk much about your time with the Wardens. Why did you leave?"

Anders frowned. He didn't feel like being judged for leaving the Wardens. But if anyone understood, Blackwall would. He hoped. "I joined under duress."

"Under duress?"

"It was join or let a templar drag me back to the tower."

"Was the Circle that bad?"

Anders set his mug down, sighing.

"…Sorry."

"No," Anders said quickly. "It's hard to explain if you've never been, and most people they don't want to hear it. They shut themselves off to the truth."

"Is that why you… with the chantry?"

"I really don't want to talk about _that_." He came out to the stable to discuss the Wardens, something he hadn't been able to do since the last time he saw Nathaniel. It felt like a lifetime ago. And Nathaniel hadn't been all that happy to see him. "I left the Wardens because it became the Circle again. They recruited a templar to watch me. The Warden-Commander left for Weisshaupt and the Chantry… it's all sort of muddy how it happened. But Rolan never let me out of his sight after he joined."

"What, never? Surely-"

Anders looked at him. "Never." It was unnerving. Even in Vigil's Keep they roomed together. It was hard to get a moment alone after that.

"I…" Blackwall frowned. "I thought that the Wardens would be better than that."

Anders shrugged. "They are. If you're not a mage. So I left."

"Is that all?"

Anders pursed his lips. "You know about Justice. Everybody bloody knows." He rubbed his eyes until he saw stars, then sighed. "I'm still trying to decide if it was a mistake. I just… wanted to help a friend. Hawke says that nothing bad comes from wanting to help a friend. Solas… he's been helping me learn a lot more about Justice. About myself. I never wanted to… to hurt people."

Blackwall looked away from him, back to the fire. "You did what you did, and you had a noble purpose behind it. You wanted to save your people from persecution. You were willing to get your hands bloody. But more than that," he continued, glancing back at him. "You were willing to take the consequences for your actions. Takes a damn brave person to own up to what they did and sit there and take it like a man. I respect you for that."

Anders opened his mouth to say something, but the words stuck in his throat. "I…" He'd come out there hoping to talk a bit about the Wardens, to maybe discuss Corypheus. They knew so very little about Blackwall, other than the fact that he was an earnest warrior and damn good fighter. And in one short conversation, Anders thought he knew everything he needed to know about him. "You're a good man, Blackwall."

Blackwall snorted. "I am not. But I'll thank you for saying it. And for the cocoa."

They sat in silence for a bit longer, sipping their drinks, watching the crackling fire, until Anders finally yawned and stood up.

"I do wish you'd reconsider coming into the castle, but… if you're happy here, I'll let the subject drop. I'm sure we'll have a lot more to talk about in the coming days."

Blackwall nodded, and Anders reached down, shaking his hand. He took his mug and retreated back to the castle, to his quarters with Hawke, to think about what Blackwall said.


End file.
